ca va bien merici

Maybe is Nothing or everything on a different day . Everything's a test , a helping hand to a decision that remains undecided upon . Somethings just are not deserved.

I want to drop my trousers to the world ...

It can not be a good thing to focus so much time thinking over the bad , and not enough over the good .  But Unrequited feelings can cause pain and cause an imbalance to the logic of beating oneself up. a niggling feeling creeping up on a perfect moment that can never be suppressed. 

je n'ai pas regretter

 

Staring at this. so calming laying underneath this thoughts ticking over my brain . happy thoughtsand sad thoughts and thoughts you wish you'd never had. In the early hours of the morning i spent hours star ing at this , like some adult mobile thats doesnt move with no pretty lights or lullaby music. WITH YOU.

Heroin Project

 cbaba

pftttt

did you come from a bad womb or a good womb

I HAVE THE CHOICE

 The flaws of society maybe these are the truest things. The Error of human nature maybe this creates the beauty that engulfs YOU if you allow it to...

The state of society

 Looking at the man on the floor  blood pouring from his face in the middle of a Leeds nightclub , fifty something people stood around watching doing nothing just staring as if its some sort of entertainment  some laughing and pointing not realising the extent of his injuries , the brutality and vulgarity of this made me realise the state of society today. I no longer wish to party of this . Some alcohol induce accident non of this makes sense why i go out till the early hours of the morning stood in a over crowded room  with strangers being grabbed, spending  copious amounts of money  and waking up to a hangover .  But this is so engrained within society  ( No one can think of any other way to have "FUN") but why  i go along with it is something iv never questioned before untill now . I always hope to surround myself with people with morals  and substance in the hope il grow to be a person worthy of  the breath that fills my lungs yet this must be the most mindless way to go about it . The streets become covered in sick and glass ( all part of the mindless shit)

This to shall pass

Hurting those who mean the most. screaming at those trying to help. To the control freak fear of the unknown becomes torture...

And how strange the times we are living in are

We dont have shit like this where i come from...

 How much stress can be taken until you snap . Its all just one big game , disregard  any talent  or effort you may put in . its not a case of that its about total submission . getting stamped on and continuing to hoover up there intolerable shit.Its about listening to the bellowing vagueness of everything then being told how wrong you've done everything .The Dmu experience

 Surrounded by poverty. Living amongst the alcoholics , drug addicts  and unemployed . its not bohemian its not a choice staring at there hardened  faces as they shuffle around in ill fitting clothing carrying plastic bags. the streets are full of glass , rubbish and abandoned mattresses .

If reality really is just light interpreted by the brain , What is the reasoning behind all these emotions.  Every little speck of "happening". is just another stitch to add to the rich tapestry ( its tattered and stained due to physical damage, really quite beautiful to some more of something to study for others). One day Il have an ideological theory to renounce all the over established influential forms...

Much to my regret

Smelling my dried blood filled shoe , how regrettable that was . It smells like a butchers , breathing in the vulgar smell in my delicate (hungover state) what a mistake to make. The past week seems to have been a juxta postion of highs and lows in the emotional sense then  the contrasts of silence then an explosion of noise. The first few days of uni  on my course where spent in near silence leaving me questioning if im retracting into my wall flower state of many years ago. The evening's seen to have been spent having pre drinking fuled debates about ( social hierarchy , cultural background , gender roles, religion )  All mainly involving me say on a chair surrounded by people genuinely intrested in what im saying  all encapsulated by the words pouring out my mouth like thick continuous  vomit . how adult how fucking adult of me. . I 

The price of Gold goes up in times of crisis

Feeling woozy surrounded by jewels , cashing in the gold reserves to be put in my bank  used to buy more stuff to  fire another bullet to keep the war that's raging continuing( my own war on materialism) rotting away any morals left within my fragile brain .Freedom shall be mine soon along with the responsibility held with that . cereal for tea shall be had,  excursions out into the cold not wearing a coat shall be made!