You die if you worry and you die if you dont

I  really must learn to adopt "the everything will be alright" attitude as im quite accustom to coming up against an small issue and completely spirrling into some wild fit of worry Causing me to lay on the floor in a panic , crying hysterically and considering if ending ones life would be easier ... to dramatic for my own good, I just need to learn about Perspective and Appropriate scales of how much i should be worrying about each individual dilemma.

sTANdiNg On THe eDge

Off i toddle to a festival tomorrow to spend some time "grasping my youth" seizing that last bit of accepted immaturity before im thrust of into the life of a poor student scraping by on a shoe string. The last night of the festival i imagine will be similar to that of Leeds fest 09 as i stood watching Kings of Leon close the festival i felt a sense of being on the edge  of something special about to start a new chapter of life as two days after returning from Leeds fest i found myself attending my first day of art college still blurry eyed and in a daze after my first festival had blown me away ...well i imagine this will be similar the last few days i get to spend with some dear friends before we are ripped apart and the cycle begins again ...

This rather rushed post is then accompanied by some imagine from some abandoned buildings deep within Ripon Army camp...

i will take your oppinions as im not allowed my own

BUBBLING boiling rattling around in my head your words that i should listen to apparently ...

taking everything to heart just hurts you ...

 i just want to give the illusion of substance 

Craving morals and substance more than anything !

Walking the streets of london hanging off the arm of Matthew Dyer strolling through harrods buying Chanel ... a few hours of happiness before returning to work the next day to burn oneself on hot pans and cut numerous potatoes the contrast is harsh yet beautiful 

l'avenir reste inconnu

Do not pity the egg man as you will become the egg man.

silence is golden, ignorance is bliss I can not do either

Today i feel like my heads so full of thoughts my brain might dribble out of my nose .  I always seem to have millions of things bubbling around in my head till 

i open my mouth and everything just falls out within minuets.

. Until i take a disliking to you then i can sit in your presence for hours and not mutter a syllable 

a Final goodbye to Art college

Irony

Through the letter box today came a life insurance letter addressed to my dead mother how ironic along with a letter to my fathers partner ... And to lighten the mood my dear friend Abbie Elsegood wearing my final garment having a go at being a Parisian prostitute as you do.

To you Mr . Doherty

As pete doherty walks on stage i scrambled to the front elbowing people in the face as my whole body began to shake. Its one of those rarities for me where my whole mind empties and I can concentrate on one thing. I did get to the front about four songs in still clutching my card and home made banner, the banner was somewhat destroyed by this point although it didn't make much difference as Pete spent the whole gig looking down at his guitar. when I was about 3 people away from the barrier i made a feeble attempt at launching the card it got onto the stage but who knows if his eyes ever graced upon it. While at the front i got knocked to the floor whilst my head and legs where being stood on the thought of laying there and dying entered my head a few times although not long after those thoughts too lovely boys helped me back to my feet and helped me find my missing shoe yes im covered in bruises but it was all worth it too see you a bit closer Mr Doherty ...

LaSt week of CHild hood

As my eighteenth birthday approaches im begin to reflect upon my childhood and where it all went. As a child i remember just wanting to be old and be done with it yet now there isnt much i wouldnt give to be three and carefree again .The years seem to be going quicker as i grow older . My black hair is beginning to grey and thin with age although it remains still quite thick. Today was spent with an old school friend chatting over a mocha it all seems to adult to me but then i am about to enter the adult world alothough there will be no sudden responsibility sprung upon me its still weird to think that in the eyes of people i am a "responsible" adult whos is in responsible for her actions. how awful does that sound to someone who still rolls around on the floor and pretends to be a car from time to time...

Grasping thy youth

"im not wearing pants its not a sexual thing , its about transgression , its about flouting societies norms by going commando "

If im being Honest

When the screaming is over and the barriers drop there is all but a large gaping hole , that all the vintage champagne in the world could not fill...

judge thou before thou be judged

Mysteriousness has always attracted me it appears an interesting quality to hold, its always been a quality iv desired but never had to any degree. Ability to encapsulate people that's where its at . no mystery , no money ,little knowledge but presence ...

isnt it sweet when someone open's up to you . I would respond but something's have to remain unsaid dear...

LCF interviw init ;)

So Megan What mistakes do you repeatedly make ? " Well i always put my pants on inside out"

oh Megan you stupid bitch ,memorbable but still incredibly stupid.

Gap toe